Remember when....

Aunt Becky over at Mommy wants Vodka is encouraging everyone to perform an act of kindness for someone else in rememberance of children/pg lost. What a SWEET and LOVING idea. A way for those of us who have loved and lost to remember our sweet little ones.

You've heard me mention my daughter Abigail on here. The Princess has visits with her regularly. We lost her in 2002. What a blow that was. Here I was 5mths pg with two little sons and a DH in Turkey. I was excited and ready for a baby. I prepared myself to be alone for the first 8mths of it's life and quite possibly deliever alone. Easy peasy for a military wife....right.... Unfortunally at our ultrasound they saw something worrisome (or lack of something) and sent me to OKC for a 3D US. It was immediately confirmed. I have a daughter and she is Anencephalic. Hopes and dreams crushed. DH came home...

Fast forward to 2004. We are pg again. We're having another daughter. AMAZING We're excited and blessed. We're in an happy place. DD comes - doctors refuse csection. We almost lose her also. The birth is so harsh and tramatic that she has swelling on her brain. She has sezuires and is put on meds. She comes home 5 days later. We rejoice! She is beautiful. She is our Princess. At this time we also move to CO.

I have the pleasure of meeting a wonderful woman. One who is a sister of my heart. My baby was 3mths old and my then 5 yr old was starting K for the first time. We met at the bus stop. Her 3rd child was in K with my LittleMan. She was pg and expecting in March. How exciting. We'd be great friends. Our children would be friends and we'd have a great time. Time goes on. What I predict comes true. We're friends. Her 4th child is BFF's with Monkey and The Princess adores her new baby, JoeJoe. Life is good. Then in the Spring of 2006 rigth after he turned a year old JoeJoe got sick. Darn Colorado....it has to be the altitude and enviroment here. They leave to go home to Illinos. He is admitted into the Children's Hospital. I can't be there and have to give support through the phone. I am heart broken. I need to, want to , have to be there for my friend. I hold her to my heart. She loses her baby. We don't know why. A few weeks later they finally recieve results. He had a tumor on his brain stem. WHY! He was too little. He was beautiful. I'm angry. It's not fair.

Our neighbor and friend Sarah finds out during the week of JoeJoe's passing that she is pg. It will be her first child. Everyone is happy for her. What a wonderful discovery in the face of loss. Fast forward....I get a call on Dec 29th. Baby Nick was born....early....he is only 25wks. We pray and wish that he will pull through. Children nowadays have a great chance. He too leaves us in ht early morning hours. I feel deeply connected. Our daughter was born at 25wks. We knew we'd have no chance but I still felt the connection. I tried my best to be there for her and offer them support.

Why? Before losing Abigail I had never dealt with a loss before. Never knew anyone who had. Now the people I'm closest too are hurting too. So I ask that in rememberance of them and to honor those Mother's you know please take Aunt Becky's advice. Perform an act of kindness on Mother's Day.