Anyone want to adopt me?

Okay so I spent a week away and I come home to a collections notice (those nut ruckers - I just paid everyone off in Feb).

After careful perusing of the letter I come to realize "IT ISN'T MINE!"

Now it IS in my name (well my former name - pre Chef). Only thing is *I* never lived in NY (well at least long enough to have a bill for a phone number).

Nope people....you know where this is going. The bill is my MOTHER'S. Yes that's right I am the only who can manage to get her identity stolen by her mother (well I know I'm NOT the only one but stay with me here).

I immediately call my mother. Unfortunately all things telling me better and I KNOW better I leave a message telling her WHY I was calling. Don't ask me why I did this. I knew that by doing so I pretty much guaranteed that she wouldn't call me back. Yes that's right people I have a child for a mother. You know the ones. They hide when you call their names because they KNOW they got caught doing something wrong. (It's sad when *I* am the adult in this relationship).

I called my sister and she has heard from her so I know nothing happened to our mother. So I call again later. Then again a few times on Tuesday. (again call my sister - she just took her to her appt so now I KNOW she is avoiding me) Call more on Wednesday. I leave msgs asking her to not make this harder then it already is. Call again on Thursday. I finally snap and ask her how can someone ignore the numerous of phone calls from their eldest daughter. Anyways....

I'm done. After speaking to numerous friends I have concluded that one this company shouldn't of contacted me cause the bill was from 11 yrs ago. (I don't understand it but it's something to do with being removed form my credit report - which by the way I checked again yesterday and it is NOT on). I also will have no further contact with my manipulative, stealing and hiding mother. Remind me to tell you about how she use to steal "borrow" my paper route and babysitting money - she also took my money from when I worked at Popeye's. Also remind me to tell you how she acts like it is MY job to "treat" her when she is visiting or I visit there - yes people this one said to me the last time we visited that "How DARE you descend on us with a family of five." (um she knew for over a year that we were coming and was the only one not prepared and got ticked off cause I was staying at my Dad's) and expect to not have to buy (all mind you) the food to stock her house for our stay. Just remind me - it'll be interesting for sure.